Mangochi & Lake Malawi

I had an exciting adventure just before exam week – I got to spend the weekend in Mangochi (near Lake Malawi) with Zuriel. We had originally planned to have all the Young Adults (from Blantyre & Lilongwe) get together for a retreat at the lake, but finances were a little tight for most people so it didn’t work out. So instead, it was just Zuriel and I who went to the Lake on Sunday – we were able to go to a resort and use their beach area to swim, then we had lunch there before heading home.

I got to experience some different transport options while in Mangochi, which made the trip extra fun. I started out on a minibus, which I’m used too, but I was all by myself again, not something I’m used to. Next, Zuriel and I rode on the back of some bicycles to his house – I think he said they call them ‘Bandas’. There were more bicycles on the rode than cars or minibuses; they seem to be the main form of transportation in and around Mangochi (as long as you’re not going too far). On our way to the lake, we hopped into the back of a pickup truck – I’ve ridden in the back of a truck before, but never with 15 people, 3 bags of maize, one large basket of roasted maize and some paint buckets in the back. One thing that really amazed me was one woman who got into the truck handed her baby to the man sitting in the front passenger seat (not someone she knew) before getting into the back of the truck. I cannot imagine anyone doing that in the US – just handing their child to someone they don’t know who is traveling with them – craziness! On the way home from the lake, we were again on the back of a truck, but this time it was more of a diesel cargo truck rather than just a pickup truck. Again, I’ve never felt so smooshed – every time I thought we were full, they would stop and pick someone else up, and this time we had large boxes and baskets in the back with us, not just people. I also felt bad because the conductor (the one collecting the money) charged us double the regular rate because I was white. I knew something was wrong because Zuriel started arguing a little bit with the conductor, but it was in Chichewa so I didn’t catch all of it. I’m not surprised that they overcharged us, it is just frustrating that there is such a strong perception of all whites having lots of money. I mean, I do realize that I have more than most of those in Malawi; I just don’t have it with me or have ready access to it so I do have to be very careful with my spending.

Other than that last incident on the truck, it was a really nice weekend and I almost enjoyed the minibus ride home as well (it is just a long ride & hard to enjoy when you’re squeezed in between two people the whole way). I was very fortunate to have been able to ride in a minibus with a driver I knew – he was a friend of Dorothy’s and I was able to ride with him to and from Mangochi. It was a huge blessing to have a friend during my travels.

Cultural Differences in Relationship Etiquette

So, a couple weeks ago, we were eating lunch and Dorothy started telling me things that I should be doing now that I’m dating Zuriel. Apparently, here in Malawi, the girlfriend is supposed to visit her boyfriend’s mother (they already call them in-laws, even when they’re just dating) and offer to clean her house and wash her clothes. It is also expected of the girl to cook and clean for her boyfriend when she goes to visit him.

Kayla & I were cracking up when Dorothy was telling us this – especially as we imagined someone having these expectations back in America. Yes, a girlfriend might cook & clean for her boyfriend, but actually go to his mother’s house and offer to do her laundry? Not something we’re likely to see.

As fun as this conversation was, it got even better the next day. I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize and it was Zuriel’s mom. She called to invite Kayla and I to her house for a birthday dinner for her niece. Dorothy got so excited when she found out & then she told me again that I have to help cook and clean the house when I get there. Dorothy told Kayla to just sit back and relax because she didn’t have to help. When we arrived at the house, though, we both offered to help and Zuriel’s mom said ‘You will’. Oh I laughed so hard (on the inside of course) when she said this because it seemed to confirm what Dorothy told us. Kayla and I were prepared & ready to help; we even had our chitenjes (fabric that we wrap around our skirts) to put on while we worked in the kitchen. Mrs. Chirwa told us to make a salad however we wanted and gave us some veggies to use. We started cutting up some green peppers, carrots, tomatoes & onions, but she didn’t have any lettuce, so we used cabbage leaves instead. It looked like a fairly nice salad, but there was one problem – they don’t have salad dressing, so our salad was very dry. They asked if we needed mayonnaise or salt and we told them that we don’t use those on the salads we make, but that if they wanted us to we could put it in. They said it would be fine and then I started helping Shupa (one of Zuriel’s sisters) make salad the way they are used to making it (shredded cabbage, grated carrots, onions, tomatoes, mayo & salt). It was really nice to get to talk with Zuriel’s sisters as we prepared the food. Shupa wants me to teach her how to bake because she doesn’t bake a lot; I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I would have to learn how to bake here before I could teach her anything. J

I think I have mentioned before how our meals with others are sometimes a little awkward here in Malawi. I was expecting this dinner to be the same; especially since this was my first time being around Zuriel’s mom for an extended time without him there. I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable the evening was for me. I mean, there were still some awkward silences and pauses throughout the night, but overall, I really enjoyed spending time with Zuriel’s family. It was fun to talk with his sisters (Shupa, Sibongale & Nedis) and his mom. It helped that I knew Roland, his cousin, and fiancée who’s birthday we were celebrating because I had met them briefly on Christmas day. It reminded me of our family get-togethers back home that we have for special occasions – nothing too fancy, just having everyone come together to celebrate and spend time with one another.

Some other cultural differences that we’ve learned about while we’re here include a lot of the extended family. Kayla and I have almost given up trying to understand how they are related to their extended family members because they’ll say ‘Uncle’, but they could be talking about a cousin, nephew/niece or grandparent. It definitely throws us for a loop when we’re trying to figure out how they’re related, but as I said, we’ve given up trying to understand & we just accept that they are somehow related to one another.

Meeting the extended family, though, is a big part of relationships here in Malawi. Chisomo (Pastor Nihaka’s son) told us a little bit about it when we asked him about how he and Faith started dating; Zuriel was also telling me a little about it when I was in Zomba with him & Samuel. It is traditional to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your extended family members and the actual uncles on each side get together to discuss the relationship and whether the couple is a good match for each other or not. There is a whole ritual between the uncles when the couple does decide to get engaged, which Chisomo told us about. It was interesting to hear the stories from Chisomo and Zuriel. It has also been fun to be able to meet some of Zuriel’s extended family while I’m here. I’ve met some of his cousins and his aunt when we were in Zomba for the day.

Happy February! (as it is almost half over already, oops!)

I cannot believe it is February. I mean, I guess I can believe it because it is true (unless the whole world has conspired against me, which is highly unlikely)….

Anywho, after our Blantyre adventures, Kayla and I decided to stick close to home for a while and just focus on getting the kids ready for their mid-term exams. It was so nice to only prepare an English exam instead of English, Life Skills and Bible Knowledge. I also felt good about all the material I was able to include on the exam. At first, I didn’t think I had really taught enough new things in this second term to actually test them on, but once I wrote down what I had taught, I realized there was a lot that I could include on my test. I had the most fun coming up with this exam, probably because I finally felt like I knew what the teachers expected us to include on the exams and I had a better understanding of the level of understanding that my students had.

I also was glad to not just do revision with them during the week before the exams. Last term, we were told to spend a whole week on revision, which Kayla and I felt was such a waste because we had only been teaching them for about four weeks – not really enough time to do revision for a whole week! This time, though, I went ahead and started a new unit, not introducing too many new topics, just reading a new story and incorporating some practice for different sections of their test. I am hoping that the work I did with them during that week was enough to help them feel prepared and know exactly what they needed to study for the exam.

Blantyre Walking Adventure #2

Kayla had to make one last trip to the Immigration Office to extend her visa for the rest of our trip. As with our first walking adventure (see previous post), we didn’t want to use the fuel for the church minibus, so we decided to walk to town. We went during the day this time so it was much safer.

We left in the morning after teaching English. The day had started out fairly sunny, but about halfway to town, it began to downpour. We got very wet, very quickly and decided to take a minibus the rest of the way to town. Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long for one to pull up and we were both able to sit up front because the people had just gotten out. We knew that the price into town was K50 per person (about 30 cents), so when we got in, we handed to conductor a K100 bill. He said no, it is K100 each. I got a little frustrated when I heard that because I figured he was just trying to take advantage of us because we were white. So I said, “I thought it was only K50 from Shoprite to Blantyre; is it because we’re azungus that it is K100 each?”

He didn’t have an answer for me and the rest of the passengers on the minibus starting laughing and so I knew I was right. We didn’t give him any more money and they dropped us right where we needed to go. It was a good feeling to know that I didn’t just give in because I was told something and expected it to be true. Now, I realize that knowing I would only have had to pay another 30 cents is not much, but it is the principle of the matter that really counted.

We stopped at the bus depot area for a while because it was raining so hard. The driver started chatting with us and asked us where we were from and what our names were. We asked him for his name and he said, “George. George W. Bush.” and then laughed. He was really nice and we were glad to have a friendly driver willing to drop us as close to the Immigration Office as we needed.

It wasn’t raining as hard on our way home, though we were still pretty wet once we got to the house. We did catch another minibus part of the way home, mainly because we wanted to be able to say goodbye to the kids before they left for the weekend.

Kayla and I both felt like more seasoned Malawians because we ventured out on our own. I was also excited to show her another way to walk home that I had learned when we went on our hike during YEP Camp. All in all, this walking adventure was much more productive, safe and fun. J

Blantyre Walking Adventure #1

Kayla and I were invited to an event hosted by the US Embassy last Wednesday (Jan. 26^th). That’s right, we’re a pretty big deal here in Malawi, especially since we’ve been on TV. Okay, so I might be stretching the truth just a little bit. J Kayla and I are both signed up to receive email updates from the US Embassy (based in Lilongwe) and sometimes they will email us events that are happening in different regions of Malawi. Last week, they happened to be hosting a Jazz Quartet from Chicago at the Mibawa Café in Blantyre. Kayla and I are both jazz fans, and American, so we were excited to be able to have an evening out.

We didn’t want to use the fuel for the church’s minibus, so we decided to walk into Blantyre and we planned to take a public minibus on our way home since it would be dark. Dorothy had given us directions to get to the Mibawa area in the city – she did not know exactly where the café was, but said we could ask someone when we were close by and we would find it. The show was scheduled to begin at 6:00pm. We had wanted to leave by 5:00, if not before, but Dorothy stayed longer to talk with us and we wanted to eat dinner before walking, so it was almost 5:30 by the time we actually started walking. Thank God for small blessings: it had been raining most of the day, but it stopped in the evening so we were able to enjoy our walk into town and not get completely soaked.

We made it into Blantyre by 6:30ish and found out where the Mibawa Café was, or at least where we thought it was… we were told it was across from a Hotel, but we went to the wrong hotel at first. Thankfully, there is only one other big Hotel in the city and we were near it and able to find the café pretty quickly. Kayla and I are both very much used to our American timetable and like to arrive early, not just on time, when we’re going somewhere, so we were both a little sad to be arriving so late and hoped that the performance wasn’t over yet (it was around 7pm by the time we found the café). Even though we’ve been here for four months, we still haven’t seemed to learn that what we plan and think will work out, is not how it happens.

The show hadn’t even started yet because the café didn’t have electricity (not a huge surprise). They were working on the problem and hoped to have some power soon. One of the workers directed us inside using his cell phone light – yeah, it’s not creepy at all to walk into a random café that is dark inside and hardly has anyone else in it… We decided we would wait around for at least 30 minutes to see if they would get started and then head home if not.

Long story short (well, at least not as long J), we waited until almost 8:15 for them to start and then decided to leave at 8:30 because we didn’t want to miss the minibuses to take us home. While we waited, I enjoyed a couple Carlberg’s (Probably the best beer in the world – that’s not me claiming that, that’s their slogan J) and Kayla was a love interest for our waiter – hehe. He wanted to get to know her better while she was still here in Malawi and gave her his number in hopes that they could get together. For quite some time, we were the only azungus (white people) in the café, but a little bit before 8pm, a large group of them came in. We’re figuring they must have gotten a memo about the concert being later or they just understood Malawi culture better than we did and knew not to show up on time or expect it to start on time.

We heard one song and part of a second before we started off for home. We had to walk to find the minibuses and by the time we found them, neither of us wanted to wait for the bus to fill up. That was not our smartest decision of the evening. It is only a little before 9:00pm at night, but it felt more like 2am with how quiet the streets were. There wasn’t near as many street lamps as we expected or thought there were – we mainly had to use the flashlight on our phone to guide our steps so we wouldn’t fall or trip over something.

Our next wrong decision came when we walked on the right side of the road (as opposed to the left, not wrong side) and we missed our chance to catch one of the minibuses as they drove past. Vehicles drive on the left side of the road, hence our need to be on that side to catch a minibus.

It wasn’t until we were about 20 minutes from home (after walking for about an hour) that we had some cars slow down and ask if we were okay and whether we needed a lift or not. Only once or twice did we get whistled at, which was a good thing. We turned the first car down because we were already at Shoprite and knew our way home from there very well. The second car that pulled up asked us how far we had to go because they had passed us once already. They had turned around to come and see if we were okay and if they could drop us where we needed to go. Again, we said we were fine, but then I noticed that the car pulled up to the curb just in front of where we were walking. A gentleman got out to talk with us and told us he was a police officer. He showed us his badge and said that he didn’t want us to get hurt or robbed by thieves and asked if he could please give us a ride home. We finally agreed and thanked him for the ride.

During our walk, Zuriel had called and wasn’t too happy when I told him that we were walking in Blantyre, at night, by ourselves. He was glad to know we arrived safely, and I promised we wouldn’t do it again. Chris was also none too pleased, even though we were home safe and sound by the time he heard any of the story.

I think the funniest reaction, though, was Dorothy. She had told us to be sure and not stay out late and to be careful as we walked. When we told her that we got a ride home with a police officer and that we were out walking at 9:30 at night, she wanted to beat us, literally; she raised her hand as if she was going to slap us. I know I probably shouldn’t laugh or think it was funny, but it all turned out okay in the end and I thank God for His protection over us throughout the evening. So now it is a fun story to share! J

2012 is on a roll!!!!

How quickly these first few weeks of 2012 went!! As of last Saturday (Jan. 21), Kayla and I have been in Malawi for exactly four months and have just over one month to go before we’re heading back to the United States. It is with mixed emotions that I think of returning home. I feel like we’ve just gotten started with these students, and now I have to begin transferring their learning back to their main teacher – we’ve only got about two weeks left of actual teaching left because they have their mid-term tests and holiday break coming up.

I’ve already started to miss them – I find myself spending more time with them in the afternoons after school and sometimes at lunch time if it isn’t too hot or raining. I bring my camera out with me as well – wanting to capture as many memories, smiles and laughter as I can. I know as I get closer to going home, I will get more excited about seeing my family and friends again because I have missed them a lot, but I also know that I am leaving pieces of my heart in Malawi and will miss the children very much!

I think that some of the older children are also beginning to realize that we are leaving very soon. We have had a lot of the Standard 6 learners asking us about when we’re leaving and asking us questions about home & our families – they also ask us when we’re coming back and it is hard to not have a definite answer for them. On our last trip, Kayla and I were both certain that we would return to the school in a year, so it wasn’t as bad to say goodbye, knowing we would see many of them again. This time I don’t know when I will return (though I have a strong feeling that I will) and it is hard to tell the kids that I don’t know when I’ll see them again.

Prayers & Praises:

-       My cough is gone – thank you so much for your prayers!!! It has been wonderful to breath normally again. I still have a random cough once or twice every couple of days, but even those are dwindling

-       This afternoon (Friday), one of our students in Standard 1 slipped in front of the minibus and was partially run over – the Deputy took him to the hospital and as of right now, we don’t know much more than that; his face, hand and arm were injured and they said he lost a lot of blood – neither Kayla or I saw it, but the kids came down to tell us about it

-    Dorothy says thank you for the prayers!! She has been able to repair her house for now and she almost has enough funds to build a new house (which she has been planning to do for a long time anyway); She’ll have to wait until May (I think that’s what she said) when the rainy season is over to start building her new house, but her current house should hold up until then – at least that’s what we’re praying for!

And then there were two... Kayla's dad is back in the US

It felt a little surreal to be taking Rick to the airport on Wednesday, Jan. 19^th. It seemed as if he had just arrived. We enjoyed a lovely meal with Pastor Nihaka and his wife on Tuesday evening. As we were loading the minibus to head to the airport, many of our students came up to Kayla and I to ask if we were leaving. We explained that we were just escorting her dad to the airport because he was going back to America and that we would be back & teaching them the next morning.
I had one little girl, Mirriam, from Standard 5 who almost broke my heart. She asked if I was leaving and I told her no and that I would be back to teach her, but she started crying anyway! L I gave her a hug and told her again that I would be in class the next morning and that I would not leave without saying goodbye.

We made it the airport without incident and waited for Rick to get checked in. We started to get a little worried because it seemed to be taking a lot longer than normal for him to get his ticket processed. When he came to say one last goodbye, we found out why the wait – there wasn’t any room on the plane. Thankfully, the person at the counter knew Pastor Nihaka and made sure to get Rick processed, but not everyone was so lucky. Some people were going to have to wait until the next day or even Friday to catch the plane that they needed. Yikes!

It was a sad ride home as we didn’t have Rick with us anymore and I realized that my next trip to the airport would be when Kayla and I leave Malawi in a little over a month. Our house was very quiet when we returned from the airport. We could feel his absence and even Dorothy wasn’t near as talkative as she normally is. Kayla and I got a small taste of what it must have been like for them when we left last year: quiet, lonely and empty.